something is just bothering me. i just need help. mum i really hope you will read this, but i know you won;t. i really want to go to church every single week. and i hope you will understand how i feel. i believe in it. i know you dislike and lots more. but can i make a choice of what i want? sigh. i really sad, worried and even afraid to tell you. =( i don;t know how to start talking about it. but no matter what i still want to go. i really want you to understand me. understand what i really want. i can even promised you to study hard, even though i go to church. i promised. i will study hard. i will do well for any test and exams. no matter what. i can do anything if you really allow me to go. i'm prepared if you see this or even my sister. i don;t know how. i just want you to know. you may even scold me, hit me, though you never did that before. but i just want to let you know i;m serious this time round. i;m not kidding at all. please understand =)