yea. i decided to blog.
enough is enough, the arguement shouldn;t just go on like this, i admit both parties are partly wrong. although this thing occur, actually i didn;t pretend nothing happen, and its really hard to talk to all of you about the problem. i don;t have the courage, and seriously its not easy. i've never been through such a difficult stage in my life. and its a real hard obstacle i've had. travelling is a problem for me, simei isn;t that accessible, can;t compare me with yasin, sometimes i don;t have the energy to travel there plus there's another reason which concern my family. true, every year there's always a arguement that happened between us, yes we are always able to solve it, but this time round, its a group. likewise i've said, i'm not as strong as what you think. try putting yourself in my situation? being in the group during recess. yet no one talks to me, how was i feeling in the inside? how lonely i am, i admit i depend on friends a lot, and that's me, all of you know. although i appeared to be in a group? yet no one cared about me? you know how painful it is? its a real torturing scene for me, sitting with all of you in the group during recess, the laughter you all had, yet i;m not included. seriously it makes me feel worst. yes its true, we didn;t spend time during the holidays? but don;t you all think its too cruel to treat me like this? i mean like since you all still regarded me like friends or part of the group. should all of you just talk to me? if its like abit? its still okay? but you all don;t even talk to me? how am i going to suvive in such environment? for instance you didn;t spend time with christina, yet you can still talk to her happily? what about me? like what you had said, knowing each other for like going to 5 years? we don;t have anything to talk about? for meiyi i can understand, but for you? i did meet you during the holidays? going to church, or meeting doug that time? we did talk. can;t you just talk to me in school? i did try talking , yet it seems like you all aren;t interested. i gave up in the end, i can;t just be like this forever. let's say during recess, after finishing your food, you all just walk off, and don;t care about me? how would i feel? happy? sad? or? i really don;t know. i teared when all this are happening to me? who really stand out and make me laugh? comfort me? at least one of you just come and talk to me about it? yet the first week none of you talk to me. after prom night, i seriously don;t have the guts to ask all of you out? one thing, what will happen if we will to go out together? we will end up like how we were in school? so? how am i going to face all this? during this holidays i tried to spend time with wen, and miao. i just wanna make up with the time i didn;t had with them, working in my mum's office already takes up most of my holidays? yes, maybe i did reject all of you sometimes, for outing. but not all the time? sometimes i really have to work. did talk to you on msn, and said that we can go shopping one day, you said you don;t feel like going shopping anymore? yet how i feel? i did try, sometimes time just can;t go along with things. do i have a choice? i can;t change time. and i have real poor time management. real sorry.

thanks for joining me in church, but welcome, i;m happy that you join the family and recieve christ! (: being a child of God is great. thanks for the fun you brought during church. hope you continue the walk with God! okays? i will remember every single laughter, jokes, fun, outings we had. i will never forget all the fun we had. every single bit has been kept in my heart. in this group there are real good and fun times, but there are times that are real bad. i;m really sorry, for the harsh actions or words i might have done in the group that make all of you dislike me or something. the fun we had studying for N's, for all subjects. the fun we have in tamp mart mac. i will always remember how close we were. (: i admit i had lots of fun in cmmbs. sentosa trip is one memorable one, the cam whoring sessions, shopping sessions, movie freaks we were. i really enjoyed. i really had fun. and i miss every bit of them. thanks for the help during my n's period. i;m really grateful for all those teachings! don;t worry i still remember the ice cream treat that i owe you! and i will pay you back. same case for meiyi. the going to 5 years friendship, my laughing partner. i will never forget how fun it was. from sec 1, the nerdy us, to the sec5 we are now. such a long journey and i've made lots of good friends, and seriously, the 4 of you had made a big difference in my life. those encouragement, fun, laughter, joy i;ve had. i really appreciates. great friends, with great help in my life. having a friendship like this, i've learn lots of things, and i;m thankful for all this. if there wasn;t all of you here, i;m can't be what i am now. friends plays an important role in my life. and seriously thanks for all this!

having peiming is one thing, having my choir mates its another thing. yea seriously, the bond we had the past few years, people can;t replace everything. i had laughter with my choirmates, because they manage to cheer me up, when i was feeling so down in the inside in school, when i had quarrels with all of you. i wanted to leave this place, i wanted so much to leave this school. but i can;t, don;t worry, you all are still the great friends i had throughout my life. eventually. i took alot of courage to leave the group, i didn;t tell all of you, because i really don;t know how to. because the loneliness i felt in the group, i really can;t take it anymore. which makes me leave the group, i know i've disappointed you. but i;m really sorry. maybe changing a new group of friends would be better for me? the pair thing? sometimes makes a big difference. i don;t know how to say it, but you will realise it soon. sorry for leaving this group, although i can;t bear, but i've left. i really hope we are still able to talk in school like how we were, as in like friends? i don;t wanna be like strangers. but friends. though we might not be able to spend time as often, but i hope. you will still ask me out , study, shopping or anything. i;m willing to , and i;m happy to have fun with all of you again. things happened, and it come this far. all of you have been great friends for me, adding colours into my life too. great happenings too. i really enjoyed! thanks cmbs. i love all of you once again.along the friendship, i've made great friends through baohui, and meiyi! i love the both of you!. THANKS FOR EVERYTHING PEOPLE

thanks for the financial help.
thanks for the love
thanks for the concern
thanks for the lame jokes
thanks for the shopping trip
thanks for the sun tanning fun
thanks for the change in me
thanks for the help through my studies
thanks for the 4 years friendship we had, and it will never end
thanks for everything
thanks for the encouragement and advices

i will have never forget everything we had, i;m really grateful. (:
friends forever! i will never forget this friendship i've had. love!
i don;t know whether i will regret, let nature take its course